I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
