Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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