So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
