Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
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