I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
