Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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