It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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