real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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