and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
