I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
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