saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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