You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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