Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
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