i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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