but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize