Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
