a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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