your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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