You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
