I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
