its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
