you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
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You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
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Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
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