why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Sober January is a disaster.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Randomize
