Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize