@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
she pinky promised me she was 18
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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