You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Randomize
