Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Randomize
