I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
