I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
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