I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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