PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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