im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Randomize
