apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
