using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Randomize
