READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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