Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
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