what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Randomize