I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Randomize
