Already got asked if we're dating
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
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