Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
