We're facebook friends in real life
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
fuck your aforementioned shoe
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
be right there i have to get my cape
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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