I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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