we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Randomize
