I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
So here I am, sexting at work.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
