Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Randomize
