I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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