If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
