I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Is that strawberry winking at me??
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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