you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
