i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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