I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
