Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
