you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
