she was so not down for the gang bang
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
