Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Randomize
