I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
