I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
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