What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Randomize
