Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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