i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
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