So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize