I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
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