What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Randomize
