we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
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Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
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I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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