My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
please come you make the beer taste better
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Randomize
